


A Daydream for the Road Ahead

by Eve (elvenlogic)



Category: YuYu Hakusho
Genre: Also rated for what may happen, Author may need encouragement on the updating front, M/M, POV First Person, Possible non-con is being considered, Rated for what is implied
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-25
Updated: 2014-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-03 14:32:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/699284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elvenlogic/pseuds/Eve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stolen moments, nothing more. That is what we have, and I cling to them as if they were worth more to me than solid ground. It's almost embarrassing, given the circumstances. I did promise to keep my distance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightshade

It had never been a true romance.  
  
This thing we had come into, whatever it was, was not a romance in the human sense of the word – far from it. This, if anything remotely resembling, was a romance of flesh. A demon romance. A tangling of bodies and passions, an intimate yet choreographed dance of powers. A tentative alliance to all outside parties, who of course remained innocent to the true nature of our engagements. The use of the word romance at all may in fact be far too generous.  
  
Stolen moments were what constituted our affair. He caught me when I was alone, between my duties in the human world and when I was young in my human mind, weaving himself swiftly into my life under cover of darkness. The dead of the night was a common backdrop, and I for one had always found it appropriate, for several reasons. This was how Hiei had wanted it, and this is how we had agreed to carry on… and carry on we did, for longer than was probably prudent. We enjoyed each other. Perhaps it was for different reasons, but at very least the physical enjoyment seemed mutual.  
  
I will admit, I did care for him, even if it wasn't part of the deal. It was foolish, I know.  
  
But I digress.  
  
Looking back on the past is not something I do with any particular grace. Truthfully, I would not wish to look back at all, but… how goes that old  adage… one who does not remember his past is bound to repeat it.  
  
Wisdom I will not readily forget.  
  
I do find it odd, of course, that the great bulk of my introspection takes place here of all places, and now of all times, tangled in the sheets and the aftermath, the warm body of my nighttime lover slumbering in the chaos nearby. It is not terribly unusual, of course. I often find my thoughts to be abnormally unruly when this happens. I shift my head, cast my gaze on him. All three of his eyes are closed. His breathing is calm and even and I take a moment to listen. He sleeps peacefully, a rare and delicate repose no doubt fostered by exhaustion and at least some degree of trust – this show of vulnerability would be impossible otherwise. I take solace in this. I remember a time when he refused to stay at all.  
  
I do not move. I cannot. I dare not wake him. Though I have yet to find rest myself, I have had centuries of practice in the exercise of patience. I return to my thoughts.  
  
Tomorrow, this will be forgotten. Despite this brief moment of hedonism, we will return to the tournament, without a word, without a hint to anyone, not even each other. Now especially, there is no time for distraction. We allowed this night to happen because now more than ever, the future – our future, all of our futures – seem tenuous.  
  
I cannot explain his motivations, of course, but I suppose I needed this. We may, after all, be charging to our deaths at the coming of dawn. Perhaps victory awaits us, though the latter may be an overly optimistic conjecture.  
  
Only time will tell.


	2. Sunrise

"Kurama."  
  
I had awoken first this morning. It is early, the sun has not yet risen – our window is open and it is still dark out. I hear him speak my name and cannot help but feel disappointed. I had hoped he would continue to sleep.  
  
I turn my head to look at him, pausing in the motions of dressing myself. Hiei's damaged arm is crossed over his stomach. I was gentle with him last night, and while I'm sure he didn't appreciate my sentiments, he may yet thank me for my prudence. He can hide it all he wants, I can see how much pain it causes him.  
  
"Yes?" I acknowledge him, purposeful in my composure.  
  
He turns his eyes to meet mine, matching my placid tone with the slightest inflection of a growl. "Where are you going?"  
  
I had been planning to go watch the matches, to get a glimpse of our competition before we fight. Although it will be hours before that starts, I also wanted a chance to clear my head, and I figured that the morning solitude would do the trick. I suppose he has a right to know the former, if not the latter, so I tell him. "I'm going to find out who our competition is. I thought it would be a good idea to watch the other teams fight."  
  
He rewards me with a noncommittal grunt. "Bit early for that."  
  
I half expect him to tell me that my endeavors are pointless as well, but this time he does not, so I hedge an invitation. "Perhaps you would like to join me?"  
  
"No." He sits up and looks away, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. "I have other things to take care of."  
  
This causes some concern on my part. "Other things?"  
  
"That's what I said."  
  
I stew over this for a moment. I'm not quite sure what he means by that. I shouldn't push it, but for some reason I do. "Nothing too reckless, I hope."  
  
He is up now, and has gone to get his own clothing. He does not answer me, so I sigh and finish dressing myself, tying a sash snugly around my waist.  
  
 _Other things._  
  
I have never been one for prayer, but just now I find myself mentally sending them out to whatever merciful deity listens to demons. I suppose it is for my own comfort more than for any tangible benefit. I can hear Hiei now, moving around behind the wall that separates this room and the bathroom, trying to dress himself with some semblance of dignity. The ragged breathing and subtle notes of pain should be an indicator to me, but I decide not to insult him by charging to his aid. He is so stubborn. I pray that he isn't going to go and do something stupid with that arm.  
  
My frown intensifies. I take a few steps toward the door that leads out into the common area between the rooms, then look over my shoulder. My new perspective affords me a bit of a view through the cracked open bathroom door. "I'm leaving. Do you need anything before I go?"  
  
I hear him draw a steadying breath, pausing midway through dragging his useless hand through a sleeve. "No."  
  
"Alright," I say, although there are other words in my head. I hesitate. I do not want to leave him. He hasn't moved since his last word, and I find myself staring at what I can see of his bare shoulder. He is probably waiting for me to leave now. I shift my weight from one foot to the other as if to take a step, but do not follow through. At last, he turns his head to look at me, eyes narrowed irritably.  
  
He has probably been watching me this whole time, his jagan eye is never truly closed.  
  
We match gazes for a brief moment. An impassive mask has smoothed over my face, almost a reflex by now, one of my more subtle defenses. I lower my head slightly in deference to his unspoken wishes. Then I close the distance between myself and the exit.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode tie-in for this chapter is episode 33. Go rewatch if you need a refresher – this will be one of those fics that fits cleanly into the canon. Thanks for reading ♥


	3. News

I return to the hotel that evening, alone and after having seen both Dr. Ichigaki's team and Toguro fight, with worry in my heart. I take up a spot on the couch and have made myself somewhat comfortable by the time the rest of the team, at least most of them, return to the room. The masked fighter comes in first, wordlessly, but I am nothing if not used to that. Still, I offer him or her a slight greeting. Yusuke and Kuwabara are next through the door, and their noise more than makes up for it.

"You're seriously still sore over that?"

"Shut up Urameshi! It wasn't fair and you know it! If I get my hands on that kid again I swear I'll–"

I admit, I've become strangely fond of their antics. In moderation, it is a nice change from the usual, and the team certainly wouldn't be the same without their mutual verbal and physical abuse.

The pair look about ready to come to actual blows when Botan comes in with tournament pairings in hand. It's made her rather upset, apparently. Speaking of unfairness…

"Guys!" Botan is waving around what looks like an official document. "I've brought the matchups for the next rounds. You're not going to like this," she says, her expression mirroring her words.

Kuwabara snatches the page from her almost immediately. "Lemme see that," he says as he circles the table in typical Kuwabara fashion. He reads, his eyes narrow then widen again. "What kinda crap is this?" He slams the page down onto the table.

"You're one of only two teams who has to fight four times," Botan confirms, having seated herself across from him.

I manage to get a glimpse of the official paper at this point. I can tell already that I won't be getting much sleep tonight. I decide, despite having only just arrived, that now is a good time to excuse myself from the gathering. Yusuke seems confused as I stand and head for the door. "Where ya going Kurama?" he asks.

I make the motion of a smile and try not to let my emotions seep into my expression as Kuwabara turns his attention toward me as well. "My apologies for leaving so abruptly. I seem to have forgotten something."

Yusuke still has that curious look in his eyes, but he eventually accepts my answer with a shrug. "Alright. Later." I am glad he doesn't question me any further. I let myself out and quietly close the door behind.

The outing should do me good.

I step outside, leaving the hotel quickly. I do not like the looks I get here, even the humans seem all too ready to judge me with their eyes. Part of me imagines that clawing those eyes out could be amusing. The more rational part knows that even if I managed to get all of them, it would likely get my team disqualified, and by extension, killed.

Outside is nice, but my thoughts won't leave me alone. I was wrong. The outing isn't helping. The evening is calm and cool but inside I roil. This news about the tournament pairings has unsettled me more than I have let on.

It's not just the fact that we are by far outnumbered, nor is it the fact that despite having seen our opponents in action I have only a vague notion of what they might be – I have a bad feeling about the Dr. Ichigaki team, mind you, something about them just isn't right. It's not even the fact that our team is down a member – Hiei is not a fighter who would make do training only his dominant hand, I trust that. He could certainly hold his own if it were just the hand, but this damage runs deeper than flesh. He is in no shape to continue fighting. He has been damaged in a way that even he cannot deny.

These things separately I can rationalize well enough with optimism still intact, but the culmination of all of these things weighs heavily on me. All of the variables seem to be stacked against us.

I am running now. My feet will carry me where I need to go. The hotel is behind me, hidden by the trees. The wilderness surrounds me. I am at home here, lost to the rhythm of tracking.

I will find him.

And indeed, it is not long before I do.

There.

On a rock far from the inhabited parts of the island, I have found the crumpled demon who only yesterday lost the use of his dominant hand. From my perch in the low hanging branches of one of the larger trees, I watch him. He was probably out here training… at least, before he collapsed and I found him in this position.

I consider approaching, though I doubt that he will receive me warmly. So I watch, and I wait.

I am good at watching and waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tie-in for this chapter is episode 33. I've been doing some major edits from this point, for reasons. If you read it before and notice the changes... yep. Reasons. Otherwise just ignore this little ramble.


	4. Waves

"I know you're there." Hiei's words come suddenly and, after a little over half an hour sitting in this place helplessly watching him try and try again to regain his strength, I am startled into motion. "Have you come to gloat."

I hadn't planned to reveal myself, but at this point I have no choice. I sit upright from where I had been leaning against the trunk of the tree. "Me? No." Have I ever been one to gloat? In past lives, perhaps, but not anymore. Hiei moves a little and I jump down from my perch.

"If you've come to help, you can't." I would try if he'd let me, even knowing that the gesture is futile.

"You're mostly right." I wish he wasn't, but he is. I am not skilled enough for something of this magnitude. He may as well have severed his own arm. "There is little I can do for this type of injury, but at very least I could do something for the pain. May I?"

"Why." His answer is flat and untrusting, and I wonder for a moment if it's only his pride talking.

"Perhaps I want to." My answer only makes him agitated.

"Hn." The distinctive sneer of sarcasm colors his tone. "Well I don't need it."

"I know you don't." I smile pleasantly. "But it would certainly help take the edge off."

He is silent for a moment as he shifts into an upright, cross-legged position. "…it's not going to help anything. You should conserve your energy."

"Heh." I cannot help but chuckle. "You have gone soft. Since when have you ever cared about what's good for me?"

"That's not–" he sputters. "Don't put words in my mouth. You still have to win, and I will be fine without your help."

"Right." I make sure he can hear the skepticism in my voice. This is his backwards way of accepting aid. I know it. He bristles and I restrain myself from needling him further. Indeed, there was a time when I found this dance of tongues incredibly frustrating. Oh how sentiments change.

"Whatever," he scoffs, at last. "Do what you want. It's your loss."

Victory. I try not to allow myself to feel too congratulatory as I approach and seat myself across from him. The ocean crashes against the rocks and sprays my back, but I ignore it. "Give me your arm." He hesitates momentarily, carefully examining my face before acquiescing, gingerly offering up the appendage. The first word I come up with is _charred_. The second is _crispy_. Neither are helpful. Still, I cannot help reacting this way. This is the first chance I have gotten to actually examine the injury. I take his hand, handling him gently as he tries visibly not to flinch. I can still sense traces of the dragon's energy here.

Shifting slightly to gain access to one of my pockets, I produce a small plant that I had collected earlier. He watches me closely as I feed it some energy, press it to his burnt flesh, then feed it some more. I close my eyes, focusing on my work. I feel the plant shift under my fingers. I hear a subtle change in rhythm of Hiei's breathing. When I open my eyes again, the leaves of the plant have wrapped themselves around the worst parts of the injury. Hiei seems unamused. I am still not finished, but that was the hard part.

"You should leave that on for a while." He does not respond, eyes narrowed warily at his arm and my hands. I continue my ministrations in silence for a moment before speaking again. "You're probably not helping it by training so soon."

"Hn."

Well. "How is that going, by the way?" I ask quietly. "Can you move it at all?"

He is silent for far too long and for a moment I believe he isn't going to give me an answer. He blinks. "Barely," he replies finally.

I cannot help the defeated sigh that comes from deep in my lungs. "We should head back to the hotel," I murmur. He clambers to his feet.

"Go ahead," he replies and my heart sinks. He has no intention of coming back with me. Still, I broach the question.

"Come with me?"

His only answer is a rough, "Why," and a glower that would send a lesser man running. Should I jest or answer seriously? Thinking quickly, I opt for the jest.

"I don't know. Perhaps I thought we could have an evening together before anything worse happens." I smile but the smile quickly fades when he answers, in kind, by taking a swift leap onto the next rock over.

After mulling over it, I make the decision not to follow him. My doing so would only nettle him further. For a long time I do not move, retreating into my own thoughts.

I decide at last to continue my vigil from above. I will watch. I will wait. I stand and gain my bearings, then with several powerful bounds, I scale the cliff and make the final leap back into the trees... but not before one lasting look back at the object of my captivation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part of the edits mentioned last chapter. An actual new chapter is coming as well. Promise. <3


	5. Vulnerabilities

My childhood was exceptionally difficult for my mother, and not just for the fact that she was a single parent. Shiori Minamino was raising an impostor – instead of the expected baby, she had in her care a demon with full possession of almost his entire collection of knowledge, centuries of learning crammed into the body and brain of a human child. Suffice to say, the body was not entirely equipped for what it contained, and she was not entirely prepared for the challenges.

It was difficult for us both, to be quite honest. There were gaps in the whole of my self, at first. Things were left unintegrated and I knew it then… things had undergone a drastic change in format that I had only partially realized as well. There were aspects of control that needed to be re-learned, restraint that needed to be reinstated or I would never regain any of my power. I was an odd baby that grew into an obstinate and cruel toddler. At the age of four, I carried myself with an air of smug superiority, taking pleasure in my ability to make adults uncomfortable. They called me a prodigy. I used my status and my smarts to all but torture my peers.

Some of that attitude was abandoned with my budding humanity, which, as it turns out, became much stronger than I had anticipated before taking human form. Shiori taught me a great deal about caring for others simply by doing what was innate, bearing the role of a mother in my life with all her heart and soul. Raising me was like a continuous injury and she still carries scars, actual physical scars, for my sake and mine alone. In part because of this, by the time Hiei found me in human world, I had already realized change.

I suppose it is because of this change that I wait for Hiei the way I do, watch him and worry for him even as he rails against my care. I waited nearby for the jaganshi through the night, watching from my precarious tree perch overlooking the sea. The lack of sleep this once shouldn't be too detrimental, and it is the least I can do. The only break I saw him take from his training was short, just long enough to meditate as the sun appeared over the horizon. He is up now, and I can only assume that he knows as well as I do that the second fight of the tournament nears. For a moment, I swear I can feel his eyes on me. He sheaths his blade, though the motion lacks his usual elegance, and turns to make the jump back onto dry ground. I stand. It is time to leave.

He is quick, but so am I. I trail him along the forested path, taking a path of my own just above in the branches of the trees. His burst of energy is short-lived however, and inevitably his own body is what slows him down. I am forced to simply watch as he collapses to his knees, then further watch him struggle with the pain. At this point, I am truly getting tired of simply watching. He didn't follow my advice last night, the injury is bare in the light and looks just as bad as it did when I dressed it. With a sigh, I make the jump to a more visible branch and decide to speak. "Is this wise, Hiei?"

I hear him growl and he promptly gets to his feet. "What do you mean." He is obviously not amused by my presence, though something about his tone tells me he has been aware of it all along.

"It won't be easy to keep winning without the use of your dominant hand," I say. "Perhaps you should withdraw." Part of me wants to see his reaction.

"Hah." His scorn is expected, possibly even deserved. "You heard what Toguro said, we don't have a choice. If we don't make it through this tournament, he will kill us all." 

I study his face momentarily and he stares back placidly. The thought of this bothers me and I am about to say something else when his focus shifts suddenly, his brows knitting together. I follow the path his eyes took with my own, searching… actually, it is strange that I didn't sense this before now. Truly, I must be distracted by this whole affair. A party of two approaches and their energy is distinctly demonic. I step off of the branch and into the air, calculating my descent so that I land neatly beside Hiei. "Fighting is our only way out," he continues as I straighten and prepare for confrontation.

These are the snake demons of Dr. Ichigaki's team, I recognize them from the other morning. They stop in the middle of the path directly in front of us, as if in challenge. I smile. Yes, there is truth in Hiei's words. We will leave fighting or not at all.

"Seems the doctor's team has gotten lost," I remark snidely.

Hiei's own smile has a dark edge to it. We both know where this is going. "Yes. What a horrible coincidence for us both."

The brief standoff following their appearance gives me a moment to consider. They are low level apparitions when compared to the pair of us. I cannot help but wonder why they would choose to challenge us in such a forward way, without any outward fear. Are they energy blind or are they really this foolish? No. Dr. Ichigaki must have armed them with some kind of plan, that worm. Could it be that these two are just cannon fodder and that this is just to stall us long enough to keep us out of the arena on a technicality?

Of the two, the white haired snake is the one who finally makes a move, but we are ready. Hiei and I finish off the henchman with perfect economy – he is meat sliced thinly in the grass before anyone can blink. "What the hell!" The second snake demon sounds surprised. There seems to be no end to the demons of this tournament underestimating us, which brings me right back to the thought of cannon fodder.

"Hn." Hiei is again beside me. "And that was using my left arm, Kurama."  

"I'm sorry," I reply. "I used my right. Next time I'll use my left to be fair."

  Hiei directs his attention to the remaining demon with a truly chilling smirk. "Would you like to try us next?"

But for some reason, this time the snake demon starts laughing. I admit I am slightly puzzled, until the demon says, "Thanks, but I'd rather not." He sounds too confident to be surrendering, and I can't help but notice the remote in his hand. "Death gives me the shivers."

He wastes no time in pressing the button. Four high pitched beeps split the air. From deep in the forest, there is an answer that sounds suspiciously mechanical, the groan of metal on metal. Whatever creature approaches, its footfalls are massive. By the time it is close enough to see, it has already knocked down several trees, which only serves to fuel my anger. I would need to put that aside soon enough.

The robot stops just near the snake demon's side. He smirks through his mouthful of fangs. "Gatasable is what we like to call him…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tie-in for this chapter is episode 35. I kind of borrowed a bit or all of the dialogue from the episode. (Incidentally, I don't know why I ever decided that overlapping the canon with such a potentially lengthy fic was a good idea... hah.)


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